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Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says.

The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.

In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.

Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world.

With those thoughts in mind, now it’s time to think about specific first date questions.

There is a time and a place for slam poetry (in theory; in practice it is my personal idea of hell), and that is NOT when two people are just beginning to get to know each other. I don't know why anyone thinks taking someone to a birthday party on an early date is a good idea.

But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.

The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.

Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor?

Now that you’ve got questions for your first date, try setting one up on e Harmony.

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